(The day before)

While washing the dishes, my phone was notified of a new message. I wiped my hand using the towel on my shoulders and checked the phone that was placed on the table behind me.

It was my best friend Erika.

“Gigi, where are you?”

Ohhh… maybe she will invite me again to go somewhere now but I already set this day to refresh and relax myself because it was my interview day tomorrow.

“Hey, Erika! I am in our hous…” while typing this, her face showed up on my phone and called me.

I answered.

“Hi, Erika. Wazzup? I am now washin...”

She cut my unfinished words and said, “Gigi, where are you? You have to come over here, now.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? I can’t go anywhere now. I want to rest.”

I put my cell phone between my left ears and shoulders and get back in the sink and resume washing.

“I saw Diesel,” she said.

Three words that made my heart run fast.

I am afraid to hear anything that Diesel done stupid.

Erika knows him too and as my best friend she hated Diesel and she wanted me to break up with him.

“Oh, yeah! Let him. He told me that he will go to the gym today with Johnson.” I said nervously.

I am afraid that I am wrong and Diesel was lying to me, again.

“He is not with Johnson and he is not in the gym,” Erika straightly said.

“Oh, maybe he is still waiting for Johnson?” I said and was trying to convince Erika and myself that Diesel was telling the truth.

“We have a mountain of clothes now, Gigi and I need to use one of those clothes tomorrow!” My mom shouted.

“Got it, mom!” I shouted too.

“Did you hear that, Erika? I got to go. Mom was asking me to wash the clothes now. Let’s talk later, okay?” I said while drying up the plate in my hands using the towel on my shoulder and I really want to cut the call because I am afraid to hear something that can cause me pain.

But I didn’t make Erika stop.

“Diesel is with someone, Gigi,” she said straightly.

“Maybe she’s a friend. Let him. I will end the call,” I said and was trying to convince Erika.

“No. I saw him holding the girl in her hand intimately when they met Diesel’s mother in the restaurant,” she said.

I am controlling my eyes to produce tears but I can’t handle it this time. The plate that I am wiping slid down the floor and broke into pieces.

“What was that, Gigi!!!” my mom exclaimed.

My eyes were enlarged and said to Erika, “Got to go.”

“Come here now. I will send you the address,” Erika said and I ended the call without any words.

I put my phone on the top of the table again and started picking up the broken plate on the floor.

My tears were streaming down slowly.

I really felt heavy when I heard those words and my shoulders got numbed. My mind switched to it.

I became out of focus.

What if Erika was right?

Diesel never introduced me to her parents. Whenever I talk to him about it, he gets mad, he change the topic.

He is not interested at all.

And now… Erika was telling me that he saw Diesel meeting her mom with a girl.

What was it?

Why it isn’t I?

Am I that really unworthy?

What is the purpose of me?

This time, he is not only cheating just what he used to be but he is most likely introducing someone to her mother. Why he never let me experienced that?

It was so obvious that he was ashamed of me.

After cleaning up the broken plate, my mom came over.

“What was that, Gigi? You wasted the plate. You have to be careful,” she said.

“I’m sorry, mom,” I said and left before she noticed that I was crying.

I went to my room and checked Erika’s message.

She sent me the address. I thought deeply if I should go or not.

……..

“I thought you were not coming,” Erika said and welcomed me with a hug.

She is in a café in front of the restaurant where she saw Diesel.

“I thought too. Mom was expecting me to do the laundry today and it is my interview day tomorrow.”

She ushered me to our seat. Beside the glass where we can clearly see the restaurant.

“Best decision. Maybe this will be a good sign for you to decide better, Gigi.” Erika said but I showed her smile that I was flattered that she was wrong.

“Erika, I think, she’s just a friend. You’ll see,” I said.

“You are smart, Gigi but you are so stupid and fool when it comes to Diesel! You are just wasting your life with that man!” My best friend was reacting overly again and she really didn’t want Diesel for me. I can’t blame her because she witnessed Diesel’s attitude and lies since then.

“He is changing. Let us give him a chance. We talked about it already.” I said.

“You talked about it a thousand times, Gigi! And he is not changing. He is getting worse because he knows that you’ll forgive him. Stop letting him making you stupid!” Erika said.

“Keep in your mind that ‘once a cheater always a cheater’,” she added.

Erika was on point. She was right but I can’t accept the reality. I can’t live without Diesel.

“Everybody needs chances,” I replied slowly.

“You know, Gigi, you are not kind. You are a fool. I hate you being like that. Later on, you’ll see that I am not lying to you,” Erika said.

Then a coffee came and French toast that was ordered by Erika.

“Oh, smells good!” I reacted. “Thank you, Erika.”

Erika didn’t react and continued her sermon on me.

“Wear your dignity, Gigi. It is not fun to look at you like that.”

“I am!” I said then sipped from the hot coffee slowly.

“They’re coming out!” Erika said and she was panicking.

“Look, Gigi!!! Look at them!” she added and insisted that I check Diesel on the other restaurant.

I was actually hesitant to look because I was afraid that Erika was correct. I don’t know what I should feel nor do.

But Erika held my face and pushed it to look outside and saw Diesel was holding the girl’s hand with her mother. Leaving the restaurant and looking like they are about to go.

The tiny hair in my skin raised up uncontrollably. My heart pumped hard and I want to believe that what I am seeing was all lies.

“Oh, yeah, it was Diesel and her mom. Maybe she’s a cousin.” I said stubbornly and stupidly.

“Huh?! What the f*ck was going on in your mind, Gigi?! Are you insane?!” Erika was getting mad at me.

I too hated myself for this.

I took my phone and called Diesel.

I saw him took the phone but rejected it.

Then my eyes witnessed him kissing the girl in front of his mother.

“Is that what you call a cousin, Gigi?!” Erika said.

Then my eyes were obviously enlarged and became moist because of the pain that struck me at that very moment.

I inhaled deeply and heard Erika say, “Go and confront Diesel.”

I looked at her and was surprised with what she wanted me to do.

“I can’t do that!”

“Wake up. You’ve been with Diesel for years with this f*cking set up. He’s been cheating at you for a lot of times. Then here you are, you will let him again and forgive him again?! Oh come on!” Erika said pissed off of me.

She stood up and pulled me over “Come on!”

“Huh?! W-wait! What?!”

“Stop looking at them. Go to them now and talk to Diesel in front of his mom and the girl.” Erika said.

“You are the girl friend and you have to act like a girlfriend who was cheating on! Stand up I’ll take you to them!” She added.

I became powerless and let Erika pull me. We went in front of Diesel. Erika pushed my back and told me to confront Diesel.

Diesel looked at me and saw his eyes became sharp at me. I know well that he is not in a good temper whenever he is like that.

Her mother looked at me like she’s not interested in me.

The girl held his hand even more tightly when I came closer.

“Diesel, w-who is she?” I said and stood in front of them awkwardly.

“Leave!” The only word that came out from Diesel’s mouth.

I am at a loss of words. I am astounded.

Then I heard his mom ask, “Who is this girl, Diesel?”

Treating me and looking at me like a filthy rag.

“Never mind her. She's been my stalker ever since,” Diesel said.

His mom laughed then the girl rolled her eyes on me.

“Huh?! Are you serious, Diesel?!” I replied.

“Go home. Stop being insane. You look so stupid,” Diesel said to me and looked at her mom and on the girl and said, “Let’s go.”

Erika behind me didn’t pull off her temper and went to Diesel.

“Gigi is not insane.” Then she looked at the girl and Diesel’s mom, “She has been Diesel's girlfriend for four years.”

“Girl, watch out. You are dating a cheater.” Erika said directly to a girl after getting her face close to her.

Erika held my hand and pulled me before the teardrop in my eyes dropped.

I heard them murmuring and shaking their heads together believing that I am just a stalker and insane.

Later on, I received a text message from Diesel stating, “F*ck you! You son of a b*tch! What are you doing there?!”

I didn’t reply. I just want to die.

I don’t know why I ended up with this extreme level of stupidity.