******

"Hmm," one of the men grunted, toothpick in his mouth as he looked all around him. "Our son is very rich o. Look at everything!... I'm sure everything here is brand new."

"Why not?", the woman retorted. "Is it not poor people that buy second hand things?"

Another of the men belched loudly, rubbing his belly in satisfaction.

"Na wa. Look at the amount of food that this girl is giving to one person,...eh?"

"Hmm my brother, I wonder o," the woman concurred. "Even look at the meat... I've not seen such a fat meat in one plate before. So this is how she is wasting our son's money? Only God knows the amount of food she is eating. See how she is looking fresh and our son is looking like dry crayfish."

Ada was on her way to the dining room and hearing this statement almost gave her a heart attack. It was all she could do not to drop the tray she was holding.

"Ha! Women are wicked," the old man commented, oblivious to the proximity of Ada.

"Yes o," one of the of the other men concurred, casting a meaning glance at the woman in the group. "This is how they waste the wealth of young men that are just coming up in life."

"What is the meaning of that statement?", the woman shot back.

"What do you mean by ‘what is the meaning’? Did I call your name?"

"Then why did you look at me like that? Don't you know where to find wicked women? Do I look like a wicked woman?"

"If you are not wicked, my friend Paul will not be in his current condition."

"What stupid condition is that?", she shouted angrily.

"The condition that you put him," he replied calmly. "Was he like that when he married you?"

"And so? Did I send him on any errand?"

"If not the way you suffered him, he would still be as young and healthy as he was twenty years ago."

"So it's me that made him not to be healthy, abi? You are mad! God punish you!"

"Eh?", he blurted in surprise. "Margaret, are you talking to me?"

"Yes, you! That stupid you that is sitting down there. God punish you and all the women in your family!"

Before the now livid man could formulate a reply, the old man intervened. He called for immediate silence and decorum and they obediently complied, both combatants restricting their attacks to angry stares. Ada had heard the entire discourse and it was only when total silence reigned did she realize that she had been standing in that spot for several minutes with the tray in her hand. In light of what she had just heard, it was clear that she could not, if she wished to salvage her reputation, go forward to serve them dessert. So she turned on her heels and returned to the kitchen with the food.

Holding on to the counter, she almost cried as she replayed in her head the words of her in-laws. She had thought she was making them happy by serving them large amounts of food, knowing how large the portions they were used to as villagers. Now the opposite was the result. Well, there was no need to cry over spilled milk. She would just have to try and salvage the situation. Taking a few deep breaths to steady herself, she made for the dining room.

"Please I hope everyone enjoyed the food?," she asked with a sweet smile as she gathered the empty plates.

"Hmm," was the only response she received and it was from the toothpick wielding old man.

The rest were either looking away from her or surveying their surroundings. It was enough sign that she had not won their approval, at least in the food department. Quietly, she recovered the plates, cutlery, empty juice packs and bottles and retired to the kitchen.

"Mffffeeew," the woman hissed as Ada went out of sight.

"I hope everyone enjoyed the food," one of the men mimicked. "Enjoyed the food my boot. Wasting our son's money an.. an.. anyhow. Wicked witch."

"Abeg, let me go and watch TV," another man said as he got to his feet.

It was echoed by the rest and they all slowly made their way to the living room, weighed down by the amount of food they had consumed.

******

It had been almost a month since the first visit of her in-laws to her house and the memories were still fresh in Ada's mind. She had learned her lesson and made mental notes on what mistakes to correct. So her joy was boundless when her husband informed her that they would be visiting again. This time, she did not share his worry. She proudly proclaimed her readiness and quickly went to work on her welcome strategy.

Eventually, the said in-laws arrived and even though this time there were six of them, Ada was more than ready. She greeted them with joy and they responded in kind. As usual, she ushered them into the dining room and left them to finish their meal in peace while she paced restlessly in the kitchen, hoping and praying that she had gotten it right this time. Once in a while, she would come to eavesdrop on them, but all she heard was sounds of cutlery and glass clashing against one another. But she didn't have long to wait. Before long, she heard the first 'hmm'. That person had finished her meal. Few more clashes of cutlery and a jumbled chorus of affirmative response to Jasper's question and there was silence again, but not for long. After Jasper had left them, they began their discussions.

"When Chief Pascal said this thing, I did not believe, but now I have seen with my own eyes," was what came from one of the two women in the group.

Ada's heart-rate doubled on hearing this. What exactly did Chief Pascal say?

"Which thing is that?", the second woman asked and Ada strained her ears for the expected answer.

"Didn't you see the food this girl gave us?", the first woman asked. "Small rice with tiny tiny meat. When Chief Pascal came before, he said she gave them full plate. Wasting our son's money anyhow..."

"And now the money has finished, see what she is giving us," added one of the men with a hiss and Ada almost gasped out loud in shock, but luckily, she was well hidden.

"Some women are just goal diggers," said another man in concurrence.

"Yes o," the first woman nodded enthusiastically. "And this one is a perfect example. Look at this thing she call food, even their dog will not eat it and bellefull. I just pity Jasper. No wonder he's not fat."

"And look at the jewelry she is wearing," the second woman spat bitterly. "Only God knows what she's using on our son."

"Forget that one," her friend quickly responded. "Whatever she is using, I will overrule it. Me! Hehe. She has come to the wrong place. Before she, I was. As soon as I get to the village, I will go straight to Baba. That thing that she is using to hold Jasper, we will destroy it and return it back to sender."

Hearing this, Ada did not bother to listen any further. She turned around and made a beeline for the kitchen, locking the door behind her. Oh what a life, she moaned after catching her breath. Where had she gone wrong in trying to please her husband's family? Why couldn't they be satisfied with anything she did? She was now very scared for her life and safety. She was not taking lightly what she had heard and nothing in both heaven and earth would induce her to leave the kitchen until they were gone. She would call Jasper and ask him to attend to them till the time of their departure. She was the only child of her mother and she was still too young to die.

******

"So it's now a monthly routine, abi?", Ada half-shouted as Jasper informed her a month later of another intended visit of his family.

"You know this family people na," he sighed. "Always looking for an opportunity to visit the city. Anyway, we have no choice but to welcome them as usual."

"No o, me I'm not welcoming anybody o. You go and welcome them. At least it's your family, not mine."

"Ah ah, why na? What's the problem?"

"Nothing. I just don... wait! When did you say they're coming?"

"Tomorrow," he said, staring curiously at her.

"No problem, I'm ready for them," she said in a tone of finality as she walked away. Jasper stared as she went, wondering the cause of her earlier refusal and her sudden U-turn. He sighed resignedly as she went out of sight. Women! Sometimes, they could be as strange and unfathomable as aliens.

The next day, as punctual as a clock, the visitors arrived. They were seven in number this time and different people from the last two batches. Jasper found it a little amusing that they kept asking for his wife, but when they finally saw her and she had greeted them, he felt less amused. It was crystal clear that they disliked her, but the most surprising thing to him was that despite their apparent displeasure at the sight of her, Ada did not seem to notice. She welcomed them and even went out of her way to make them comfortable.

It didn't take long for the food to be ready and the visitors were ushered into the dining room. Jasper, confused by the strange happenings around him, excused himself to his study while Ada took her position in her listening station. She knew she wouldn't have long to wait and she was right. After a lengthy prayer, the guests opened their plates. She could hear water being sloshed about as they began to wash their hands. She was all impatience, shifting from one foot to the other. She could not wait for it to happen.

It was one of the men that first raised the alarm. He peered at his plate in surprise and looked at his neighbor's.

"Come Jona, is there meat in your soup?"

In response, Jona searched around the plate for something stiff while his neighbor silently fumed, calculating how he would tongue-lash this stupid girl for her careless forgetfulness, but he was stunned by Jona's answer:

"Hmm mn, no meat in my own o. Is there meat in your own?"

He said nothing, but turned to his other neighbor to ask if there was meat in his soup. By now, the entire table was in chaos, everyone was complaining about the total absence of meat in their soup. What an insult! What a provocation! The women fumed loudly while the men shook their heads sadly.

"Chai! So what Chief Pascal said is true," one of them soliloquized. "Even Sister Margaret and Mama Martha said this thing. Chai! Only God knows how Jasper must be suffering o."

"We cannot take this!", one of the women shouted, jumping to her feet. "This is a big slap on our face. We must deal with this girl once and for all!"

"Gbam!", another concurred, also jumping to her feet. "It is now or never!"

Fuming as they went, they marched toward the kitchen. Ada could hear them coming and she almost fainted. Oh Lord, what have I done, she moaned as she wrung her hands in panic. She had played her hand too far and now the boomerang was on its way. She broke into a cold sweat as she wondered where she could secrete herself into. But just few feet from her hiding place, the women halted, grumbling angrily. They had been ordered back by the oldest man in the group. Both women had no choice but to go back to the dining room and resume their seats, giving Ada a chance to breathe normally again.

There was silence as the old man had instructed, but all the faces including his were either sad or angry. Nobody was happy with the food situation.

"What do you think you will gain by going there to fight, eh?", he asked the women.

"But Chief, we can't just let her get away with this."

"Get away with it? There's nothing we can do. This is not our house. Do you know whether her husband is aware of this? What she has just done is a sign that we are not welcome here. Can't you think? The first set of people said they ate big meat, the second people said they ate small meat, now our group.. no meat. The next group, if there is anybody that is foolish enough to come.. will have no food at all. And the next group, they will not even allow them to enter the house!"

"God forbid! That can never happen.. not in my nephew's house. Even if..."

"Will you shut up!", the old man scolded. "Who gave you permission to talk when I'm still talking?"

"Sorry Chief," she mumbled reluctantly.

"So Chief, what are you now saying?", one of the men suddenly asked. "That we should just leave everything and let this girl get away with this.. this.. thi.. this nonsense?"

"I'm saying that we are lucky enough to be alive. Do you know what and what she put in this food?"

"Chai! Thank God I've not eaten it o."

"And I was thinking that I will come to the city and enjoy my nephew's food," the woman grumbled.

"Ehh eat na, eat," Chief urged as he stood up. "Eat all the food. The rest of you, come let us be going. We can only go home and pray for her to leave our son's house as soon as possible."

They all filed out, leaving her to continue her grumbling. When she saw that they were truly bent on leaving, she got up and went with them.

Ada waited some minutes, listening for sounds just in case one of them would return to pick something he/she had forgotten. Hearing nothing, she crept out of her hiding place and peeped into the dining room. There was not a soul there. After checking around to make sure, she slumped down on a sofa and laughed her heart out.

******

For the next two months, Ada's mind was not at peace. Since her husband had not rebuked her after the abrupt departure of his family several weeks ago, she expected no threat from that area. He was still in the dark and it was obvious that his family would not enlighten him. What she feared though was the probable arrival of some rogue faction of his relatives who might ignore the old chief and come to fight her. She jumped at every sound or a knock or a strange voice. But after almost four months of no visit from her in-laws, she was completely at peace, but her husband's worry only increased. One day, she found him in the living room staring wondrously at his phone.

"Darling, any problem?", she asked, wondering what kind of message he had received.

"No no, it's just my relatives. They're not picking their calls a..."

"Maybe they're busy."

"No no no, this is something else. I called them two days ago to ask if everything was alright and why they have not come to visit for so long, but all they said is, 'Is your wife around?' When I told them 'Yes', that was it. They cut the connection. And ever since then, I've not been able to reach them. They refused to pick my calls and if I call three or four times, they switch off their phones. What is going on?"

"Hmm," Ada sighed, trying her best not to smile. "Anyway, your food is ready. Should I serve it?"

"Yes yes, I'll eat it now. I just don't know why these people are behaving like this."

She said nothing. She simply walked away to the kitchen, leaving her husband to keep trying to reach his relatives. Getting into the kitchen, she locked the door behind her and laughed to her satisfaction before going ahead to serve her husband's food. She was glad to have gotten rid of the insatiable leeches once and for all. When Jasper gets tired of trying to 'reach them', he would face his life and business so we would live happily and enjoy our marriage, she mused.