While Chonta, Edina and Edmond were worried about her whereabouts, Teliwe sat on the bench, on the very bench she had sat on in the orphanages' playground, on her seventh birthday with her mother, twelve years back.

The memories from that year flooded her mind

It was her birthday. She had just turned seven. Teliwe was excited as she had pushed the gate to their home in the suburbs. She had run from school which was five roads down their house. She found her mother seated in the lounge, dressed up with bags by her side.

‘’Mummy!’’ she had called excitedly before throwing herself into the woman’s arms.

‘’ Teliwe Sindaza, I have told you a thousand time before, no running in the house," she admonished lightly.

"Sorry mummy. Do we have visitors? Did they come to my birthday party?’’

Her mother had turned to look at the bags then smiled at her."No honey. They are yours. Come here.’’

‘’ Are we going on a trip mom?’’

‘’ Yes, honey. You and I are going to take a little trip. ’’

‘’ Oh. What about school?’’

‘’ You will still go to school,’’ she had said."It will be a special kind of trip,’’ she had added as they had waited for the taxi outside the gate. When the taxi pulled over, they got in and were dropped off at the orphanage. Her mother had asked her to go and play and make friends as she talked to someone. She had watched her head into the building. Teliwe didn’t join in the play but rather watched them from a distance as she kept peeking over her shoulder.

After a long while, her mother had come out with two nuns and another woman who was shaking her head. The three stood on the verandah, solemn looks on their faces as they talked in low voices while looking at Teliwe as her mother walked to her.

‘’ Can we go now?’’

‘’ Not just yet come let's sit over there, mummy needs to talk to you,’’ she got her hand and led her to the bench."Swity, mummy has to go away for a few days but she will be back soon .’’

Teliwe had looked at her confused. It was what her father had said too but he never returned. They had put him to rest in the ground."Are you going to be with dad?’’

Kaluba Kalumba smiled sadly and pulled the girl into a hug."No honey. Daddy is dead. This is different. It’s a special journey .’’

‘’ Okay .’’

‘’It’s for adults only. So while mom is away, you will have to stay here .’’

Teliwe had looked back at the girls who were playing waida( jump rope) and Eagle( hopscotch.)

‘’So I can’t come with you?’’ she had asked tears in her eyes.

‘’It will only be gone for a few day. Mom will be back soon,’’ she had said and looked past her shoulder and beckoned to someone. A man Teliwe had not realized was standing there came over with a box."You have school anyway. You trust mummy right?’’ her mother Kalumba had reached out and cupped her face. Teliwe had nodded. The man had placed the box between them."I got you something to keep you company.’’

‘’Oh.’’

‘’They are hyacinth plants. They will be purple when they bloom. Ain’t they lovely?’’

‘’They are.’’

‘’Now, you take good care of them for mummy okay?’’ Teliwe had looked at the flowers then up at her mother and nodded."By the time they bloom, mummy will be back. Water them every day, every day you hear? So mummy can come back quickly."

‘’Yes, mummy.’’

Kalumba Kaluba had kissed her on the forehead and hugged her."Don’t you ever forget that mommy loves you,’’ she had whispered.

Hand in hand, they had walked to a waiting car. Kalumba Kaluba Sindaza hugged her daughter tighter and longer than before, then got in the car.

She had waved at her daughter ‘till the car had disappeared behind the fence. Teliwe had found life in the orphanage strange from the normal blissful life she was used to but soon, she had adapted.

With the help of her new best friend Arnold Kangwa, a boy three years older than her, she planted the plants on a piece of land allocated to her by the orphanage director, Chonta Chona. This site near the gate became Teliwe's favourite place I the orphanage. She tendered to them till they bloomed. Day in day out, she waited at the gates for her mother but she never came. Summer, came and so did all the other seasons, but her mother was nowhere to be seen. On her eighth birthday, Chonta sat her down.

‘’Teli, there is something I should have told you a long time ago but I didn’t have the hearts too.’’

‘’What is it?’’ she asked and the elderly woman had reached for her hand as they had sat in the office."Teli, your mother is never coming back.’’

She had pulled her hand away and glared at her."She is so.’’

‘’Honey…’’

‘’She promised. She said she would come. All I have to do is wait. She will come. You will see.’’

Two more years went by. All the while, she had made excuses for her.

Maybe she forgot the way to the orphanage…am sure she is immersed in work and is too busy to come for me...think we should put up signs leading to the orphanage...when my mommy comes, we are going to have lots to talk about...think she will be surprised at how much I have grown…

On her tenth birthday, Chonta who could no longer bear seeing the girl being hopeful for nothing had given her the letter from her mother.

Teliwe,

There is no easier way of saying this but I hope someday, you will find it in your heart to forgive me. In the few months since your father left us, everything has been overwhelming for me.

I need time to find myself and think things through. The nuns at the orphanage will take good care of you. I know because both your father and I grew up from here.

Maybe someday our paths will cross they won't but whatever the case I hope you get to live a fulfilling life and forget about me,

Kalumba Kaluba.

After reading the letter, Teliwe felt like someone had reached their hand into chest and ripped her heart out.

She took out her anger on the plants."Liar!liar!You are such a liar!!’’ she had cried. She had fallen in a heap beside the ruined plants. Chonta had gone over to her and touched her on the shoulder."She is never coming back is she?’’ she asked, her voice hoarse and barely audible.

‘’I am sorry.’’

Throughout her teenage years, she kept to herself and plants. She had taken up gardening as a hobby and rarely spoke to anyone apart from Arnold and Chonta. Chonta had tried to get her adopted but she always turned her down which always infuriated Chonta.

‘’Teli, think of your future, if you get adopted you can find a loving family and have a bright future.’’

‘’I am okay,’’ she would say all the time. Chonta always knew how the conversation would start and end but she had to try. She was a bright girl and had so much potential.

‘’What about college? The orphanage can only support you till you are eighteen. Don’t you want to do more with your life?’’

‘’I will find a way.’’

‘’Teli, please. Don't do this I know somehow you are waiting for the return of Kaluba. But she is never coming back.‘’

‘’We all are entitled to our illusions right?’’

In the end, Chonta had stopped trying to persuade her. Teli had left the stage a year ago after she had turned eighteen. It was the first time since then that she was returning.

In the present, her tears mingled with the heavy downpour of the rains. Twelve years had passed but it still felt like not a day had gone by. She was nineteen, she understood the situation at hand but her seven-year-old self still longed for her mother who had failed to keep the promise.