Caramel

“fat and ugly! Yes, that’s me… but I will never give up on myself.” I said to myself while I was standing in front of my mirror.

I have been locking myself in my room for two weeks. Barely eating but even so, I didn’t lose any noticeable weight!

I frowned and started wearing my clothes, I have applied to jobs… and I have meetings today.

I blew a long deep breath reclaiming my courage and my confidence once again. Then I walked out of the house. I met my father, he was parking his car…

“caramel? Are you going out?” he asked worriedly. I didn’t talk to them for the last two weeks. I was so down. So he was surprised to see me freshly walking out of the house.

I nodded “yes, father. I have a couple of interviews today. I have applied for new jobs.” I informed him and I opened the door of my car to get in but my father stopped me “sweetheart, why? You don’t need to work for the others. Just come to my company and work… it’s your company after all.” he patted my cheeks softly worried about me to get hurt again.

But I insisted “father, I want to work and I need to, to explore real life to make friends and to meet my soulmate and to get connected with people. I’m not young anymore,” I kissed his cheeks and then hopped inside my car.

I drove as fast as I could, I was already late. It Was almost 11 a.m and I guess I will be the last one for the first meeting.

I rubbed my hands together before walking through the huge company doors. I was totally neglected by everyone. But I didn't give a shit, I had a target to reach and I would do anything to accomplish it.

I took the elevator to the second floor where I found all the girls walking already so I assumed it’s the one I was looking for. I can’t deny that I was almost the ugliest among all. But I looked so stylish! High class and decent girl which should help me to work in a company like this.

But once I smiled at the secretary “excuse me, miss... I’m here for the job.”

She gasped as if she had seen a ghost in front of her face then she shook her head “sorry miss, but you are not going to pass. So I think you should go now.”

I cleared my throat feeling humiliated, especially when the other girls started laughing already.

“why?!” I asked her firmly.

She frowned “look at you please! We want a secretary! Hot one… like me.” she smirked and turned her head away.

I tried to talk with her but she just started calling other girls to name one after one. I didn’t know how much time I was plastered in my place from the hard shock.

I really wanted to run away but at the same time, I couldn’t drag my feet an inch away.

And finally I stormed out of that company, I was going to drive my car to the second job but guess what… they called me.

I grabbed my cell phone immediately to answer “yes, caramel.”

“oh miss caramel, we have checked your online application and you didn’t send your personal picture. Why is that?” the assistant asked me.

I blurted out in a trembling tone “yes, I have sent my face picture. Is there something wrong?”

She replied “yes, we need a full body picture. Size matters. So we don’t have much time. Could you please tell me. Your weight in kg?”

I gulped but hesitantly I said “it’s… mmmm.. approximately 150 kg.”

“what the fuck! Please don’t ever come to them…” she was saying and I hung up the call immediately and started crying and slamming the wheel with my both hands.

What the fuck is wrong with my size?! They need my hard work, not my looks! I guess I have been  living a lie for the whole of my life. I need to do something even if….

I drove back to my house. I just stormed to my room and this time decided to find a man even on chatting room but instead advertising for escort ‘man whores’ popped up to my screen!

And I was like… yes! Why not! At least I have money to pay to lose my fucking virginity.

….